As I have mentioned several times, I have rejoined Weight Watchers (I keep telling you so I can be accountable). When I rejoined, I saw my highest weight ever. Not the most amazing feeling, but I needed to accept it so I could move on. I knew I was making doing the right thing by deciding to focus on being healthy. This moment got me thinking about how my body image has changed over the years.
If you asked me if I think I struggled with my weight growing up, I would say yes. I think my freshman year of high school was the point that I can recall feeling heavy and that I needed to do something about it. I recognized that unlike many of my friends, I couldn't go to a birthday party and eat tons of chips and cake. I knew that they weren't a healthy choice - which is something I am very grateful to learn about through the healthy choices my parents made. However, my parent's struggle with weight was no secret so they made sure to teach my brother and I to make better choice than they did when they were young. Here I am as a freshman in high school at about 150 pounds:
I don't want my story to sound like excuses, because they aren't. I let my health fall by the wayside, when it should have been my top priority. But even though I'm heavier than before, I feel like I've come a long way in terms of my body image. I think I felt a lot better about myself when I weighed 175 pounds for the second time. Maybe it was because I worked so hard to get there or maybe it's just a case of your weight looks better going down than going up.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't been so hard on myself when I was so young. I almost wonder how things would have been different if I hadn't put so much pressure on myself when I was young. I was lucky in the sense that even though I didn't always feel great about my body, I was always confident and outgoing. I never let my weight stop me from doing the things I wanted to do. And I don't think that has changed.
It's hard to learn to love the skin you're in when you're not where you want to be. But it's important to try because we are all worth it. And this is especially worth it if you're on the right track and trying hard to make the right choices.